Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Cancerversary...One Year in Numbers

It hardly seems possible that a year has already flown by. One year ago today we took our sleepy selves to urgent care for a quick remedy to Eric's odd stomachache, and one year ago as they kept us there the most dreaded C word became a part of our everyday lives.

Having had a twenty four week preemie, I remember the paces of revisiting mental landmarks through the years following a trauma, pausing with thanks or sadness as I considered where we were or what we had been doing at the same time that year. This summer I again felt pangs of rememberance as I considered the sweet days of "not knowing" we had shared the last time we were in this part of our journey around the sun.

But today itself passed fairly quietly. My thoughts have been more centered on the sheer number of unexpected things that have been fit into this last year's calendar...

3 Surgeries removing...
4 Organs and installing...
1 Port
1 Primary Tumor with
"Innumerable" Liver Mets
2 Hospitalizations
12 Rounds of Chemotherapy
A Few Sleepless, Tearstained Nights
4 Tesla3 MRI's
Many additional CT scans and MRI's
3 Oncologists
2 Transplant Surgeons
2 Hospital Systems
2 Insurance Companies
50+ Pages of Notes from...
100+ Hours of Telephone Conversations to get...
1 Yes. Well, maybe that could be counted as a few more yesses. But one big one.
30 lbs Eric gained and then lost, largely due to steroids with treatment.
30 lbs I gained and haven't lost. (Blech.)
1 Week for our kids at Camp Kesem, which was amazing for them.
2 Weeks in Texas for the kids and I to immerse ourselves in family.
5 (I think) Trips to Disneyland...Our Happy Place
1 Brief Getaway, just Eric and I, to Wisconsin of all places!!
So Many Dr. Appointments
Hundreds of self injections for...
1 Blood Clot
1 Clinical Trial
Hundreds of Thousands of Dollars Billed
Tens of Thousands of Dollars Donated (I can't even.)
Countless Prayers, Acts of Love, and Expressions of Support

I know this doesn't even cover it all, but these are the things that readily come to mind. I have been thinking, too, about Thalassa's vision, a year ago last night. She later painted what she saw that night over Eric's abdomen, when we hadn't yet ANY idea of the severity of what was really happening and I thought she was being quite dramatic for an upset stomach. What rest has come in this last year has been solely through an indwelling of the Peace that Passes All Understanding, and we continue to wait with hope for full and complete healing.

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